There is a common belief that children are resilient, that they “bounce back” from hard experiences and leave them behind. Children do adapt in remarkable ways. But research paints a more complicated picture. Childhood trauma does not simply fade with time. It can shape the brain, the body and the way a person moves through the world, often in ways they do not recognize until many years later.
If you grew up in a home that felt unpredictable, unsafe or emotionally overwhelming, you may be carrying the effects in ways that feel confusing. Anxiety with no obvious cause. Difficulty trusting people, even the ones who love you. A body that seems to be always on alert. Relationships that follow the same painful patterns again and again.
Understanding how childhood trauma works is a first step toward doing something about it.
The ACE Study
In 1998, Dr. Vincent Felitti of Kaiser Permanente and Dr. Robert Anda of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. It has become one of the most cited pieces of public health research.
The study asked more than 17,000 adults about ten kinds of difficult childhood experience: physical, emotional and sexual abuse; physical and emotional neglect; and hard things at home, including a parent’s substance use or mental illness, domestic violence, divorce, and a family member in prison.
Two findings stood out. First, these experiences were far more common than anyone expected. Nearly two thirds of the people surveyed reported at least one, and more than one in five reported three or more. Second, the more of these experiences a person had, the higher their risk of health problems as an adult, including depression, substance use and heart disease (Felitti and colleagues, 1998).
How trauma gets under the skin
The ACE Study showed what happens. Later research has helped explain how. Part of the link is behavior, because people cope with pain in whatever ways they can. Part of it is biological.
When a child lives with ongoing stress, their developing brain adapts to survive in a threatening world. The body’s stress response can become overactive. Over time, the parts of the brain that watch for danger may stay on high alert, while the parts that help us calm down, think things through and tell past from present may have to work harder. This helps explain why some adults who went through trauma as children feel on guard even when they are safe (Anda and colleagues, 2006).
What it can look like in everyday life
Many adults who went through trauma as children did not see it as trauma at the time. It was simply their life. But the effects can show up in patterns that are confusing when you do not know where they come from.
- Always on alert: scanning for what might go wrong, finding it hard to relax, startling easily, poor sleep.
- Relationships that feel hard: struggling to trust, pulling away when people get close, or repeating familiar but painful patterns.
- Big or absent feelings: reactions that feel too big for the moment, or feeling numb and disconnected.
- Harsh self-criticism: a deep sense of not being good enough, and difficulty accepting kindness.
- Feeling stuck: finding decisions hard, or fearing the wrong choice.
These are not character flaws. They are understandable responses from a nervous system that learned to cope with hard things. And what was learned can change.
The brain can change
The same capacity that let your brain adapt to a stressful childhood also means it can adapt to safety and connection. This is where therapy comes in.
I am trained in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), a structured, well-researched treatment for PTSD. CPT helps you notice the “stuck points” that trauma can leave behind, beliefs like “it was my fault,” “I cannot trust anyone” or “the world is never safe,” and look at them together with more balanced and compassionate eyes (Resick, Monson and Chard, 2017). Like any therapy, it helps some people more than others, and we review honestly how it is working for you.
I am also certified in Somatic Trauma Therapy, which works with how trauma is held in the body, and I bring mindfulness into every session. Learning to notice your thoughts and sensations without being swept away by them can help you build a new, kinder relationship with your own inner experience.
It is not too late
One of the most important messages of the ACE research is that understanding itself matters. Seeing the connection between your childhood and what you struggle with now is not about blame. It is about making sense of patterns that may have felt mysterious or shameful for years, and recognizing that you have choices now that you did not have as a child.
In my practice in King City, a few minutes from central Tigard, I work with adults who are beginning to make these connections. Whether you have always known your childhood was hard or are only now starting to see the patterns, we can work together to understand what happened, how it shaped you, and how to move forward, at a pace that feels safe to you.
If any of this feels familiar, I would be glad to talk with you. Call me at 503-495-5072 or send a message for a free phone consultation.